Dating… one of life’s most confusing subjects. Why is it, after millions of people have dated and gone on to get married, that dating is still so confusing? You may say that dating isn’t confusing, but I have to think that can’t be true if there are so many people with so many opinions. Go and type “dating” into Amazon and you’ll be confronted with approximately 300,000 results in the book section alone. Even celebrities and famous people are confused. We see some portray dating as getting 30 women together to all try for the heart of one man. And I’m sorry if this was offensive to those of you who are a fan of the TV show the Bachelor, but I can’t help but think this can not be a smart option.
Who do you turn to for dating advice when you need it?
Some turn to parents, others to friends, some to books, some just give up on the idea of dating, while others never had a desire for it in the first place.
It is because of this confusing that surrounds dating that I have decided to write. Not because I have any answers, but because I have experience, because I’ve seen and experienced the hurt that the confusion of relationships causes, because I’m convinced there is no one right answer, because I see the need, and because I hope, due to the mistakes of myself and my friends, that you and your significant other can learn and grow together, and hopefully avoid some of the road bumps we have hit.
I want to be up-front about this before we jump into things. I first want to address who this is written to. This is written to those who are confused and don’t know what to do, those who have given up hope, those who are successfully dating someone right now, and for those who are somewhere in-between. Maybe you both have feelings for each other but are afraid to move forward. Maybe you like a girl and aren’t sure whether she likes you. Maybe you’re afraid to commit. Maybe someone just broke your heart, and you’re done with dating forever. If you’re interested in dating, or have yet to be married, this is written to you.
So I invite you to not just start this book, but commit to finish it. I’ve started a lot of great books and about half-way through, found a book that seemed more appealing and started it. Literally, my book-shelf is full of books with various bookmarks in them, just waiting to be finished. I realize how ridiculous I sound, but I don’t think I’m alone here. And the funny thing is, having read half a book, I’ll talk about how much I was disappointed in it. That it just wasn’t as good as others said. But can you imagine if I did this in other areas of life? How I just didn’t feel like the superbowl was that exciting, even though I only watched the first half. Or maybe how depressing that James Bond film was, even though I only watched til he was captured by the bad guy. I challenge you to finish this book completely, and to not make judgments until you do so.
One final thing, this book is not an answer to your problems. It may help you identify a problem, or maybe even work through a particular problem, but please don’t think that simply by reading this book, you’ll instantly be cured of your dating frustration, meet the perfect guy or girl, and get married shortly thereafter. I wrote this book because I found that all the dating books I read didn’t have the answer, and this book is no different.
So currently in one of two boats.
1. You’re single… if you are, then I invite you to enjoy what follows, but I do have a favor to ask… I ask that you read this book and simply compare what I say with what you think. And I give you permission to disagree. I welcome it. The point of this isn’t to tell you how to date, but rather to offer perspective on dating.
2. You’re dating someone, and if you have a significant other, I invite you to read this together and talk about it along the way. One of the best things a couple can do is read through a book together and talk about it. Read what I say and compare it to how you’re doing things. I also invite you to disagree, but don’t just disagree and move on, talk about what makes you disagree and figure out what you do agree on then.
So that’s pretty much it! I’m excited you’re embarking on this journey with me… So turn the page and get ready to think, laugh at my mistakes, cry when I talk about issues that hurt, and talk about what follows with others as you tweak your view of what dating should be or maybe think about it for the first time. Here we go!
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Hey brother, a few thoughts. You say you are writing this book, "Not because I have any answers, but because I have experience." I feel like this is only half true judging from what I've read. When you get a chance to edit this section you might change the tone to, "I have some answers for you, but dating is not as simple as answers."
I think it is great that you are approaching the topic with humility but don't sell yourself short. People want someone they identify with, but they also want someone who knows more than them. So don't be afraid to play up your knowledge a bit more.
The thesis of your book is a little bit obscure based on this section. You a really good job of identifying and inviting who the book is for; however, it might be beneficial to rework the explanation of the book as an exploration of the wrong ways to date, or perhaps an overarching question you will be exploring.
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